Negative feedback is tough to hear. It’s painful, especially when it catches you off guard. Our nervous system reacts instinctively—triggering a fight, flight, or freeze response. Humans are hardwired for self-preservation, which is why criticism can feel like an attack.
Maybe you become defensive or defiant. Maybe you crumble, cry, or feel a knot in your stomach. Perhaps you’ve experienced that sinking, ominous drop in your chest. Negative feedback can even feel like grief, cycling through denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. But the most critical stage is acceptance.
Acknowledging how hard it is to receive negative feedback is the first step toward overcoming our reflexive, emotional reactions. It’s only when we push past these initial feelings that we can approach feedback constructively. Instead of reacting emotionally, we can analyze it like a scientist examining a new discovery—objectively and dispassionately.
Negative feedback isn’t always true or unbiased, but it always carries an opportunity. Whether the feedback is valid or flawed, it’s a chance to learn something new, grow, and improve. The key is to use it to your advantage. Let the pain of criticism become the spark for your growth.